Outflow’s eighth reading includes a reference to 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. These are the famous verses that are so often read at weddings. In fact, they are so familiar, I would suspect that we sometimes don’t really let them impact us. That is tragic, because they are an amazing and challenging definition of love. They tell us what love IS as well as what it is NOT, and they tell us what God IS as well as what He is NOT:
I think it is interesting that Paul chooses to define love more by what it IS NOT than what it IS. If we are honest with ourselves, we cannot read the list of what love is NOT without being convicted at some level.
As I re-read this list this morning, I was reminded of how often I “keep a record of wrongs”. In the ESV, it translates this as being “resentful”. The Message paraphrase calls it “keeping score”.
Love chooses to keep no record of wrongs. Likewise, God also chooses to keep no record of wrongs:
For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. – Psalm 103:11-12
I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more. – Isaiah 43:25
No longer will a man teach his neighbor, or a man his brother, saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ because they will all know me, from the least of them to the greatest,” declares the Lord. “For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.” – Jeremiah 31:34
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. – 1 John 1:9
You’ve heard it said (I’ve said it myself) that we “must forgive, but we do not have to forget”. I found myself wondering this morning if that is one of those things we tell ourselves to get out of loving others the way God loves us. If a part of God’s love involves Him choosing to forget, shouldn’t that be a part of our love too? I understand that there are still consequences for wrongdoing, and that as humans we cannot hope to choose to forget the way God can. But should it be our long-term goal?
How do I know that I don’t really forgive and forget? Any time I let a prior experience with someone cloud my current attitude toward them, I haven’t really forgiven and forgotten. Any time I bring up an old offense with Michele or the kids, I haven’t really forgiven and forgotten.
What do you think? Are we supposed to forgive AND forget? Can we truly say we have forgiven if we have not yet forgotten?
2 comments
Lori H says:
November 4, 2009 at 12:31 pm (UTC -5 )
I really enjoyed discussing this topic this past Sunday and reading your post. The more I think about it and read verses on forgiveness, to more I think they go hand in hand. But, I still question it when it comes to being wise. I can forgive someone but, it would put me in danger in the future to forget completely the damage that was done. I need to be wise to thier behavior, even if it seems changed.
John M. says:
March 19, 2009 at 8:45 pm (UTC -5 )
I think it is a good long term goal to forget but it is possible to forgive and not forget. I am sure that Christy has not forgotten the things I have done against her but I know for a fact that I have been forgiven by her as well as Christ.